Tik Tok Tick

“Hey, Hisham! Nice to see you; I didn’t think you were going to come!” Joe, a young teenager said, as he welcomed Hisham into a room in the college similar to a cinema where many students were watching a large screen that they logged onto, using their Zoom accounts, along with thousands of viewers worldwide.
“Thanks. There’s just loads of hype about the fifth year of the Vlogger Awards so I thought I’d check it out and see what all the hype is about!”
“Come on, have a seat, they’re just going to show the nominations!” Ed said, patting a cushion on a sofa for Hisham to sit on. He was sitting next to Joe and Hisham joined them

The 3 of them were all colleagues at the prestigious SWC (Small World College), although Hisham stood out from most students. Although he was studying to gain technical skills and learn about technology, he liked to spend much of his time offline and limited his usage of mobile devices or social media including mobile phones, which is in complete contrast to other students who spent most of their time online on social media. Curiosity led him to joining them on this Zoom event.

“…and the nominations are:” a man in a suit announced as short clips from different Vloggers were about to appear.

“Miss Coffee Cup!”

They watched a clip of a woman drinking coffee from a cup making a slight slurping sound and pausing between her sips. The audience applauded.

“That one’s OK but she’s always using the same mug every day!” Joe commented
“How many different mugs can she get? She makes daily vlogs!” Ed replied, shaking his head in an unnatural way, which he suspected was some sort of medical condition.
“True” Joe admitted

“Washed and Dried!” The announcement came as the audience applauded again

They watched as a cleaner took a mop out of an industrial cleaning bucket, twisted it in the machine to drain the water and then start mopping the floor.

“What’s so special about that? She’s just a cleaner doing her job!” Hisham asked as he did not understand what was so special about the video
“Yeah, but you get to see her doing all sorts of things like mopping, cleaning windows or even vacuuming! There’s a lot of variety!”

“Healthy Gums and Teeth!” The name was announced with a loud applause

They watched a short clip of someone starting to brush his teeth but then the camera quickly zoomed deep into his mouth as he brushed them, revealing his toothbrush brushing against his upper side teeth.

“What’s wrong?” Joe asked as he noticed Hisham cringe and look away
“I don’t like seeing the dentist and it feels like I’m there right now!”
“Well, I think its impressive. Check out his editing and the different angles he’s using! You can see how he’s brushing each tooth so clearly!”

“Ah, my fingers!” Joe said as he wiggled his fingers to relieve some of the pain
“What’s wrong?” Hisham asked
“I don’t know. I get that sometimes, nothing serious” Joe said dismissively

“Sleeping and Snoring!” Loud applause followed the announcement

They watched a clip of someone sleeping and turning twice to the sides in his sleep

“I’ve seen that one! It’s a classic!” Ed remarked as he recognised the clip

Hashim leaned forwards, put his hand on his forehead and let out a sigh of disbelief. He could not understand how anyone could be so excited by that let alone call it a classic.

“Iron Man!” The fifth and final announcement for the nomination was called out followed by loud applause.

They watched as a man spread out an iron across an ironing board and started ironing it.

“I like the play of words; he’s not like the Avenger’s “Iron Man” but does the best ironing!” Ed said as he enjoyed watching the video, but Hisham was not impressed.
“So? You don’t need to be a superhero to iron! Can’t you iron?”
“No way! That’s way too difficult; I don’t know anyone who can iron their own clothes!” Joe said
“Well, I iron my own clothes!”
“Wow, you really know how to use that thing?!” Ed was amazed and was again making sudden unnatural head and facial movements as Joe also stared
“Yeah!” Hisham replied, not understanding why they were watching him with such amazement.
“Shh! They’re going to announce the winner now!” Ed said, noticing the host appear on the screen again.

“and the winner of this year’s Vlogger Awards is…SLEEPING AND SNORING!” There was a loud applause and cheering in the room. The screen then focused on the creator of the famous Tik Tok channel, Tony Whittles.

“Thank you so much for all your love and support. It’s an honour to be here and to receive this award as most of you have voted for me! Some people say that its nothing to just make videos of myself sleeping and snoring but it takes much more effort than you’d think! I started the vlogs by filming myself and condensing about 2 hours of sleep into 2 minutes, which could take up to 4 hours of careful editing! It wasn’t long though before there was a sudden boom in the number of viewers so I had to work even harder. Now the project has grown so much that we’ve got a team of 50 sleepers and 300 editors working 24/7 to get you daily Tik Tok vlogs! I’ve even received loads of praise from medical professionals doing research on sleep and why young people are having difficulty sleeping! Now, we’ve successfully edited over 20,000 hours of sleep!”

“Wow!” Ed said in amazement

“…thank you again and have a wonderful day or night, wherever you are in the world!” Tony said as he ended his short awards speech and closed his window, returning to the host. Other students in the room cheered and applauded

“Is that it?” Hisham asked, not impressed at all
“Yeah, wasn’t it great? It’s the best one I’ve seen so far!”
“That’s what everybody’s so hyped up about nowadays?”
“Yeah!” Joe replied as Hisham stared at them in disbelief for a few seconds.
“I think I’ll go take a walk!” Hisham said
“Wow, nobody needs to tell you to “go take a hike” then; you’d just go ahead and do it!”
“Of course! I’d rather go offline and do other things like walking or talking to real people rather than just staring at a screen all day! Wouldn’t you?”
“Nah, that’s so boring!” Ed said
“Yeah, you need to get a life!” Joe agreed
“Yeah, but you don’t get any unwanted side effects like poor eyesight!” Hisham explained
“But you’re wearing glasses just like us!” Joe said, again wiggling his fingers again and feeling some slight pain
“That’s because I love to read, not because I waste my time doing other things online!”
“So, there’s no real problem then!”
“People who are always online get other problems as well like having poor social skills or…What’s arthritis?”
“You mean that problem that old people get when their bones get stiff?”
“No, I’m not talking about “arthritis”; I’m talking about “WhatsArthritis” when people mess up the joints in their fingers because they’re so addicted to WhatsApp and keep using it! I’ve heard they’re even researching a new one caused by being addicted to “Tik Tok”!”
“Really?” Ed asked in surprise
“Yeah, people keep watching those really fast Tik Tok videos and they end up with all sorts of sudden jerky movements called “Ticks”. Since it’s caused by Tik Tok, it’s called “Tik Tok Tick”!”
“Come on! That’s just a myth!” Ed said, shaking his head again and making unnatural facial movements

There was a pause. Hisham felt that he suddenly understood why Ed made such sudden jerky movements with his face and neck and also why Joe was starting to get pain in his fingers. That is when he decided to get up suddenly to leave.

“OK, so I’m boring but proud of it! I’ll go and take a hike! Have a nice evening and see you guys later!”

Hisham left the room before others and went out for a walk. Ed and Joe looked at each other and could not understand why he was not at all impressed.

The end

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